15 steps


we used to see each other infrequently, but every day i was looking forward to see her again. always boarded around seven thirty line 170. she stands by the window close to me, but not pretty close. just so that she could see me. in the face, she has such a cute little jerky movements that do not affect. these jerks are caused by nervous when you know that someone is looking at you. i know it's caused by my presence ... i liked that very much and try to be on top of things. when watching, so it with great sincerity watching. she's really beautiful. she often loosened her hair today (she always wears them closed in a bun) and had a great diopter glasses without diopters, images. she is probably high as me, has black eyes and her style is highly unusual. it's a mix of 90´s and some king of narrow-minded black elegance, but she knows how to wear it. she even can smiles, but she does not show it much often. only when she reads the mobile phone (maybe writes her musceling, „in money“ fella report on how it was nice in the morning). we stand close to each other, but I do not have the courage (all my life) to undertake anything. rather, i give a little time, because i feel that's going to be something bigger (one will recognize it), and frankly do i get quite scared about it. although we have finally wrapped up with my wife, i am still in a hope ... just give it time, just as it once must come. this is inevitable, as plain as a daylight. even before we meet, i bet what she will be. completely calmly it could be total, high and mighty cow, but i am almost one hundred percent reckon that she is not. on the contrary - it will be a very nice girl with a sense of humor, who likes to sleep in a tent in the summer time, use to go into the forest in the rain, instructed regularly contributes to a cat shelter, she likes schnitzels and sweet chocolate, and every wednesday evening and sunday morning she wants to fuck like a wild and she likes to experiment in this kind of human need.

wednesday morning was pretty disgusting. depending on the amount of puddles has been pissing all night. in the evening i didn´t drink much, but get up really did not want me. i listen to love/dead faces on tv and stuffed myself into a completely full bus. fucking driver would not let me in advance, although it through the back door really just could not cause of the people... i found a spot on the right side and inhaled a mixture of alcohol vapors, enough of a bad food and unpurifed teeth some elderly guy who's ridden by to the work ... but maybe not. hard to choose, but i was not totally one. but two stops i could survive. finally, i did not even wait for those two stops. guzzler got off at the first one. i was quite happy, although i actually felt good. he reminded me my dad… she was standing behind him and i sort of expected it. i thought that today i will not wait for anything, but in the end it was somehow it doesn´t matter. we left the bus and walked for a while just a few meters next to each other. then we spontally grabbed our hands. quite automatically, as if we were doing it this way since time immemorial. we did not talk at all. just looked at each other, she smiled and waved me at pimlico station and clearly i saw through the window she says she loves me.

i have never seen her anymore. it´s a shame, cause she was the one… i know it…



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